


Moving On

by ArtlessComedic



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Other, Pining, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 06:50:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10893999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtlessComedic/pseuds/ArtlessComedic
Summary: sometimes we dont.-SOwowthis is for tumblr user whoistord, who wanted some sadass eddtord ayoo





	Moving On

“Whatever, sicko.” Edd laughed, smacking the side of Tord’s head lightly as he walked by, his sick friend on the couch whining about his condition. It really wasn’t as bad as he had been claiming, but he had always had a flair for the dramatic. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Ha ha, no, I’m good. Thanks.” Tord rubbed his chest, watching Edd’s retreating form as he left the living room to get himself another can of Coke. He had a slight cold, but it shouldn’t make him feel this...ick. He scrunched up his nose in distaste, the vague discomfort reminding him of being a shitty middle schooler again, and having a crush on an upperclassman. Maybe he just took too much cough medicine...hopefully. He lied down on the couch and rolled over, letting himself fall asleep.

It wasn’t until a few weeks later, when there was no too-strong medication to blame, that Tord found himself staring as his friend as he made bacon, purposely humming loudly just to aggravate Tom’s slight hangover, that he realised he was all too fucked. There was no denying his crush at this point, but he reasoned that Edd would never be interested, and that it would be best to hold his feelings back to preserve their friendship. It hurt a little, and sometimes, if he thought too much about it, it actually made him...sad. Or something. Whatever. He shoved his breakfast in his mouth, willing his stomach to digest the butterflies plaguing him when Edd grinned at him across the table.

That Valentine’s day, Tord had hyped himself up. Matt was right, surprisingly: if he wanted to be with someone, he had to be open and honest with them. For someone so focused on himself, the ginger could be incredibly insightful. But the second he saw Edd, chowing down on a box of chocolates he bought himself and watching a horror movie, Tord lost his nerve. Edd invited him in and they sat and shared candy, and that was. Well, it wasn’t enough- nowhere near it. But it was still wonderful, in its own way. If Edd rejected him, he’d lose this. Lose their close ease, their ability to casually sit and talk, whether about the news or their feelings, and not be made uncomfortable by stupid, silly things like unrequited crushes.

Edd’s birthday, thanksgiving, and Tord’s birthday all seemed uneventful, and as Tord continued to smother his feelings time and time again over the year, Edd grew more mature. He talked about college. He dreamt of being an animator and writing his own television show. Tord just wanted Edd to be happy. (Or rather, he wanted  _ Edd, _ but he knew it would ultimately be better to focus on goals that were actually achievable.)

When Christmas rolled around, and Tom got up to his usual antics, Tord thought for months in advance about what to get for Edd. Something perfect. Something that he would treasure dearly forever- even if it didn’t hint somehow to Tord’s growing affection for his friend. Dare he say “love” and really, truly mean it? Would he ever be able to so much as  _ think _ the word without the heavy feeling of dread crushing his very being? Unlikely, so he didn’t. (At least, he tried not to.) He settled on a bacon-themed gag gift for his friend, and accepted the punch to the shoulder that came with it. Nonetheless, he knew Edd adored it.

The new year brought with it a scholarship to a fancy art school for Edd, and for Tord, new depths of heartache. Just when he thought he’d crushed his feelings and moved on, Edd smiled, or made a stupid pun, or- fuck, anything- and Tord’s stupid traitorous heart just  _ melted. _ God. He was in too deep. He needed to get on with his life, like Edd was. Because Edd was aiming his goals for his happiness, and Tord wasn’t aiming at all. He didn’t want to deal with this any more than he had to, but he just. Fuck. He couldn’t, or maybe didn’t want to, imagine a life without Edd by his side, best friends through thick and thin. He remembered once, so far away it seemed now, when he and Edd physically fought over the last of the bacon in the fridge. It had gotten so violent, even Tom and Matt were shocked. And yet, this was the same Edd who had literally blackmailed him into going on a vacation to relax with him. (Granted, he had done the same with Tom, but he’d been Edd’s first choice, and he would always hold that sentiment dear, even if it hadn’t meant anything to Edd.)

The day Tord left was only two months before Edd was due to move out and settle into his new dorm. He’d been packed up for a few days, but lingered, aching to tell Edd how much he wanted to stay. How much he wanted to be with him. He loved him. It fucking hurt, and he wished with all his heart that he could somehow tell Edd and also  _ not _ tell him. But no matter the sleepless nights, no matter the deep, immovable pain in his chest...he never wished away his feelings.

And when he left for good, heading out into life, the only thing that was certain in his mind as he entered the unknown, was that Edd was going to keep going. He was going to work hard and have fun, and not just reach his goals, but surpass them. The thought made his heart throb, but...Tord was happy for him.

He couldn’t move on. He knew he never would. But Edd could be happy, and that...almost made it okay.


End file.
